Malaysian English vs British English

A friend mailed me this. Want to share with u guys~~

Who says our English is teruk. Ours is simple,short,concise, straight-to-point and very effective.

etc. The English did invent the English Language, but they cannot use it economically when communicating their intentions. Compare these phrases that Malaysians and Britons use to say the same thing: So, why make things so confusing and waste of money when you are and a long distance call.

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians: Hallo, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Malaysians:No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.

Malaysians: Doe-waaaan!

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.

Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Malaysians: Shaddap lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?

Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.

Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?

Malaysians: Wat happen Why lai dat????ADUI!!! (jumping to conclusion)

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you.

Malaysians:Hoi!!!u pig ar lai dat also doe no how to do!!!!

WHEN SOMEONE PISS YOU OFF
Britons: That's a terrible thing you did...I am very disappointed with you

Malaysians: CHI-BAI!!

^_^

Updated

1. Today is:
::27th march -Thu 2220

2. I should be:
::take up my psp, put on the earphone and kill the dragon

3. The last text message I received was from:
::kaai

4. And it said:
::"Monster Hunter Portable 2nd G damn nice wei!"

5. I am currently pissed off because:
::that dragon damn geng, i keep one hit KO-ed

6. I would love to :
::step on that dragon corpse and keep hammer on his horn

7. If I could change one of my attitudes, it would be:
::be more mature don't just always put efforts on killing dragon

8. After training, I love to:
::go to school. I miss school so much.

9. I liked yesterday because:
::i don't recalled what unhappy things that happened on yesterday

10. But I still sort of didn't because:
::I stuck on traffic everyday that's means i stuck on traffic yesterday isn't it?

11. My favorite song right now would have to be:
:: smooth by Santana and Rob Thomas

12. I sometimes forget to...
::brush my teeth

13. My favorite number/s would have to be:
::the laying eight (infinity) on my bank account

14. When I'm in a bad mood, it's better to just:
::give me something to punch or kick on it.

15. I really can't stand:
::traffic jam

16. I'd break up with my girlfriend right away if?
::If my girlfriend become my boyfriend

17. If I were to get stuck in an elevator with someone, it would have to be:
::a beautiful and sexy lady with big boobs :P

18. The last thing that I bought with my own money is:
::mixed rice from my company's canteen. It was SUX and i have to eat it tomorrow.

19. The name of the street where I live is:
::not really remember.

20. I have never ridden:
::a BMW 7 series with a drebar and lots mo~~

21. If I won the lottery, the first thing I would buy is:
::a super expensive birthday gift for my girlfriend

22. One bad habit of mine is:
::i ah....Do not smoke.

23. Two friends who are not from my school is:
::Mr Kaai and Jimmy my monster hunter partners

24. I am currently stressed because:
::the dutch lady chocolate milk in the refri finished already

25. What are you going to do this weekend?
::not sure may be gaming

26. How's your heart lately?
::I'll tell u after i consult my doctor.

View behind my house

'Feng shui'ly speaking, strategic living place with mountain back me up.ha ha

人民才是老板

从如火如荼的竞选筹备工作，竞选期间的你争我夺，终于二零零八第十二届的大选终于来到了有人欢喜有人愁的尾声。开票夜当晚我全程紧跟着新闻报道，印象最深刻的还是许子根博士一脸倦容的宣布民政党大败。不过值得称赞得是他那股承认失败的风度，大丈夫能曲能伸，好过那些败选后不知道躲到哪里去，把国阵竞选总部搞到门可罗雀的懦夫。马华民政也自食其果，兵败如山倒，一败涂地。怪也只能怪他们选了番薯来领军。老黄，请不要污辱人民的智慧，以为选前那几颗糖果就能过关吗？华人的福利，问题不是要你带队去申请的，这不是你所谓的策略，这是手段。老许，只怪你领导无方，宣传概念不明不白，让人一头雾水，反风大吹，再怎么转变也要给火箭射下来。反对党创造了历史上光辉的一页，一举从国阵的手上拿下了4个州属的执政权，还否决了国阵在国会的三分二的议席。（从此，国会里再也没有国阵的“有你讲，没有我讲” 了）。很庆幸，我有机会投下神圣的两票，参与这历史性的妇女节。我想这是个健康的现象，五十年后的今天，我看到了民主的觉醒。我为马来西亚感到骄傲。